Ok, so that was probably an exaggeration. I didn't break my knee, I "dislocated" it. Apparently it's called a Lateral Dislocation. (Why do doctors have to make it sound so technical o.O?) Nevertheless, if you are interested in dislocating your own knee, for whatever dumb reason that might be (i used my knee as an excuse to skip classes before *winks*) then, these are the things you are going to need:
~ it is a truth, universally acknowledged that 15 year old girls, will have an unhealthy obsession with girly-looking boys who can dance and pop while lip syncing with the music. I happened to be one of the few people who was an avid pioneer of Korean Music, otherwise known as K-pop and was proud of being ahead of the trend. (shame shame shame... -____-) I mean come on, who cared if no one understood the words they were uttering? As long as they mentioned the words "baby" and "i love you", popped their chest, and shaked their asses simultaneously while winking and blowing kisses at the camera? Seriously... does the lyrics even matter at all?
If you want to take your obsession to a whole nutha level (like i did), try learning their language, dress yourself with scarves and knitted gloves, and thick coats even though it clearly doesn't snow in your country, (well...not in mine XD) just because your Korean pop idols wear them.
However, if you want to raise the bar to a whole nutha nutha level, you should stay at home, and spend hours on tv, irritate the hell out of your family for watching effeminate looking guys that speak a language they don't understand. Let them leave you alone in your house, and dance to your hearts content even if you look like a retarded monkey jumping up and down the couch. Try to attempt a dance twirl, while your left feet is planted flat on the floor. Try to turn as fast as you can, and in the process... dislocate your knee. O_O
Should you cry from the agonizing pain? No.
Should you cry because your mind is starting to imagine stuff telling you things like "silly girl, because of your foolishness, you dislocated your knee, and you're all alone at home with no one to help you, and the doctors can't do anything to save your leg, and they would have no choice but to cut it off, and you will forever be known as the Girl Who Lost Her Leg Because She was Dancing to an effeminate boy band singing Korean Pop Music?" then Yes.
Because of fear of losing your leg, and being ridiculed for losing your leg to a stupid Korean boy band for the rest of eternity, try to pop your knee cap back to it's place, even if it hurts like hell. O_O The pain... I cannot express in words... but it worked!!! XD
Moving on.
2. Participate in any of your school's so called "Physical Education" not because you want to, but because you have to.
~ This particular PE would involve volleyball. I mean what could possibly go wrong? Volleyball only demands the use of hands to play with the ball. However, your teacher might want you to try and run to "save" the ball from falling on the ground, because saving the ball is more important than your physical ability to actually do so, and in the process dislocated your left knee... again. O_O
On the bright side, a dislocated knee can be a tool for you to gain sympathy from your friends, the guilt of your teacher, and the attention of your high school crush. Yay for dislocated knees!!! XD
3. If that isn't enough, try another "Physical Education" involving Soccer.
~ Why would I join in strenuous physical activities when I know that I have a gullible knee o.O?
Silly readers. This time, you'd be advised by your teacher not to exert too much effort for PE. However, while waiting for the class to begin, play a game of "Tag" with your friends, knowing that your 4 year long crush is also playing along. Try and run after your crush, even though you know he's running too fast, probably because he's starting to sense that you're actually chasing him for a whole different reason, and he's starting to get creeped out by you. In the process of chasing after him, while disregarding the advice of your teacher "not to exert too much effort" you will yet again... dislocate your knee. O_O
This time around, you probably won't get the sympathy from your crush. Love has ended before it's begun. -__- *sigh*
4. Finally, (but probably not the last) laugh at your mom for mispronouncing a word.
~ Not all Asian communities have the ability to be fluent with the English language, so if your family happens to be one, they yay you guys!!! XD But if there is an instance that you're talking to your mom in bed, about nail polishes and she mispronounces the word "colorless" into "kooloorliss", (it still makes me laugh... teehee ^^) then it is only common sense, to laugh at her at the top of your lungs. She also will laugh at herself for letting her tongue slip, while thrashing in bed and starts hitting you with a pillow. During the process of her flailing around wildy, her leg might "accidentally" drop on your skinny anorexic-like legs, and cause your knee to... yes... pretty obvious... get dislocated... AGAIN!!! O_O
(This is getting boring seriously... "oh look at that, I dislocated my knee... *yawn*)
Have the paramedics arrive at your house at 2 in the morning. (yes, my mom and i were up at 2 in the morning talking about "kooloorliss" nail polish... XD) Let them put you in a stretcher, because you can't move your freakin leg. Cuss all the way to the hospital, and make your mom feel sorry for "unintentionally" breaking your leg. (Nice try mom, but this is hardly the way to teach your kids not to laugh at you -___-) Allow the doctor to inject you with a pain killer, and let him pop your knee back into place, because you know you can't go through that unbearable pain of trying to put your own bodily organs back in its rightful place.
Wasn't that an exciting story? XD
This was the only time someone actually thought to take a picture of my dislocated knee, which happened on the first week of January this year... enjoy O_O
I don't like being touched. -___- Look at that guy trying to cop a feel -___- I'm on to you paramedic O_O I know where you live... O_O
Oh don't worry guys, you'll be walking again in no time... 5 weeks tops, and you're free to dislocate your knee again, anytime you wish... O_O
