How to Get Your First Tattoo... O_O

This is no joke. Well actually, if you have been reading this blog then it most probably is. Actually it always is. I'm probably joking about the fact that I'm joking which means I'm not joking. O_O But if you're planning to get your tattoo for the first time, that's definitely something you should think about. Or not. You know what? I don't really care. But if you want to get your first tattoo, then here's what you need.

• skin
• tattoo kit
• tattoo artist/friend
• moolah/dough/moneh/cash

Duration: depending on how big your tattoo is, and how much you can tolerate pain. Maybe 30 minutes give or take. If you're a p***y then probably forever. 

1. Think it through.

When you want to get a tattoo, make sure you're going to get a tattoo that you would really want. That you reaaaaaally want. That you reaaaally reaaaaaaaaally want. O_O Which means it's going to take years before you finally get to decide having one. So think about it... like really really think about it.

2. After 1 year...

Still think about the tattoo that you want to get. By now maybe you have already passed the phase where you want to get in with the trend of getting the name of your significant other on your body, getting a rib tattoo (yes, EVERYONE wanted to get a rib tattoo) and having quotes, or proverbs or whatever stupid shit people come up with. 

3. After 3 years...

If you decided not to get any of those tattoos, well congratulations! You're now a trying hard wanna-be f***king hipster who refuses to get in with the trend, but somehow is still a victim of society's norms. Yes, whether you like it or not, one way or the other, no matter how much you try to swim against the current, you will always, ALWAYS be part of the society you hate. But that's besides the point. 

4. Choose a significant tattoo.

Meaning a tattoo that is significant to YOU. Don't think about what other people think is "in" or what looks "nice". Get a tattoo that you know is symbolic or has meaning for you. Or not. People get crazy ass tattoos these days, so who really cares if it means something or not. Get the shit that you want, nobody really cares. I don't.

5. Find a tattoo artist that will tattoo you.

Because you're bat-shit crazy if you think you can do it on your own. Unless you plan on having a nasty tattoo, then... by all means. However, if you think that you still have some semblance of sanity left in you, then find a good tattoo artist. And a better bargain if you get a friend who is a tattoo artist. Moolah won't be much of a problem. Since she's your friend. 

6. Get inked. 

And while getting inked, you're tattoo artist/friend might ask you if it hurts. Say "no... just a little". Even though inside you're basically screaming your lungs out. Does it hurt?? Does it HURT??? Are you crazy?!!?? Of course it HURTS!!! It feels like tiny blades ripping my pulse open!!! 

But really, it does hurt. It's a tolerable kind of pain, don't you worry. So just keep your composure until you finally get your tattoo done. 

... Or maybe I'm lying. Who knows? You don't know me. It's probably gonna hurt for the rest of your life and you're gonna have to live with it. O_O