(thanks to my bro who fitted that screen shot via Photoshop to my Paint drawing. It's pretty obvious I suck at Photoshop, and I can't be bothered to learn how to do it. Leave it to the experts...O_O)
Now if you're a guy who can't seem to get a girlfriend in real life, and you spend most of your time searching for a relationship with girls over the internet, (just like me... not that i'm searching... I just happen to meet most of them via the internet... is there a difference o.O? ) these are some of the things you need to win over a girl. (*coughs*...me ...yes internet boys with age that ranges from 20-30... I'm single... *wink wink*)
- Chatroulette (caution: this site is NOT for everyone)
- Original love song
- a Band
- a Girl
Duration: This may take a while. It's not easy to compose your own song, and it's not that easy to find a girl on Chatroulette either... if you know what I mean... O_O (I'm innocent I swear... )
1. Be yourself. Stand out.
Ok, so being yourself over the internet doesn't really help guys out so much. Hell, if it doesn't work in real life why would you think it would work for you online? (Sure doesn't work for me XD) Plus you're competing with a lot of distractions in the internet, so make sure you do something that would definitely make her "ZOMG ... you're like a really really cool guy, and i'd love to like... hang out with you if like... you weren't so far away like..."
2. Write a song.
One way to woo your future internet girlfriend is... of course... to write her a song. And no... don't go all boy band Nsync, Backstreet Boys "As Long as You Love Me" on her. Cheesy love lyrics are so not cool. Write something original. Remember you're trying to stand out right? Keep it funny and sweet. Girls love the funnies. (I sure do... XD)
3. Find a band to play your song.
But if you don't have the money to hire yourself a band, then try asking your friends who can play instruments. If you, however, don't have friends, (I'm assuming you don't have that many if you're looking for a girlfriend over the internet...) then gather up a bunch of random people who play in the streets, we know we have lots of those.
4. Find yourself a girl.
Now that you're all set and prepared, it's time for you to look for a girl. However, if you can't be arsed to wait on responses from sites like Eharmony or whatever sites you waste your money on just so you can talk to a girl who isn't probably a girl in the first place, then go and try this site Chatroulette.
Ok, so maybe you'd see a dick or two... or three... probably more... but at least you get to see who you are talking to, and there is that very very veeeeeeeeeery slim chance you might see a girl. At least it's a real girl right?
If by some heaven sent miracle you do see a girl, then this would be the perfect time to sing your original written song with your band. I assure you this is 352354% Fool-proof. O_O
So how can a guy play a song with a band to a girl over the internet you ask? Maybe you should see this video.
Psycho Chick Approved!!! 5 Stars *****
*sigh* If only I was her, I'd buy a one way ticket to Denmark to marry this guy. -_____-
Shit, I'd marry him. Excellent post Psycho.
ReplyDelete@Tony~ thanks :P Now I have someone new to obsess with... O_O
ReplyDeleteI'm not the super romantic type but that was so cool. I like your attitude girl and I like your blog.
ReplyDeleteSheesh.. keep yer harmones in check!
ReplyDelete@timethief~ I'm only overly romantic on the internet. :P and thanks a lot really! :P
ReplyDelete@asonsdiary~ I don't know about HARMONES... but my hormones are telling me to jump this guy. O_O hahaha!
That dude is a keeper. You know, providing he doesn't get all Hamlet-y and shit. Great post! It went famously with my coffee.
ReplyDeletehey u know what..,
ReplyDeletei like the way you make a picture for every post..
How did ya think of it??
:) The idea and the post.., both are awesome.. ;)
@D'Artagnan~ well I'm glad you liked it... :P and after listening to the lyrics "you turned my floppy disk into a hard drive" is hardly Hamlet'y... :P
ReplyDelete@ketaki~ Honestly my inspiration is Hyperbole and a Half. She makes such great drawings with her stories. But I can't be bothered to draw every scenario, and because I'm lazy, I just stick to one drawing. :P
@Justine Love!!! am really enjoying ur series...{posts}.. keep it up.
ReplyDeletelol..nice post
ReplyDeleteAwwww!!! That was nauseatingly cute. :)
ReplyDeleteJust the name "Chatroulette" sounds scary, though.
Congratulations! Your blog has been hand selected and
ReplyDeleterecognized by add your blog.com to receive our - "Blog Star Award" !
Your blog was chosen by our webmasters, to honor your hard
work and dedication in providing a quality web log.
Requirements:
1)Quality Web Content.
2)Great Design .
3)Web Log Everyone Will Love To Read .
Show off our appreciation and display your award on as many pages of your
site as you wish, by following the directions on the link below:
To Claim Award Click Here
http://www.addyourblog.com/award.php
Don't forget to submit your blog to our directory increase your blog
traffic....
Click Here To Submit Your Blog To AddYourBlog.Com
Thank You For The Opportunity To View Your Great Blog,
Keep Up The Good Work,
Alessandra P.
@Fortunesk~ I'll try to keep the funnies coming... :P
ReplyDelete@Swati~ appreciate it... :P
@offendedblogger~ I can only hope she was me =(
@addyourblog~ are you a spam message? You probably are... yeah, I think you are... but then again, thanks for the award spam message, it's doing wonders for my ego, so I'll take the badge... XD ego-boost achieved!!! :P
lool, u'r funny!
ReplyDeletei jst feel lyk most guys u meet on an online dating site are prolly nerds that cnt get a lady in real liife :/
to be fair..this one is a pretty decent singer,lol
#random.. my uncle met his wife online. they've still never met in real life O_o (he's in ATL and she's in Nigeria lol)
You should also have specified a you know, distance. Like say in the same country. Or something. Relationships are hard when you can't reach out and touch those boobies. Or whatever :P
ReplyDeletewow that was amazing dear
ReplyDelete@kitkat~ I are funneh? teehee ^^ it's not only guys who can't get a date in real life you know..-___- *coughs* i guess i'm sort of a nerd/geek/dork... proud of it XD
ReplyDelete@Mike~ *looks at chest* what boobies are you talking about? i don't see any o.O
@baili~ well thank you baili XD
Intenet dating is like virtual sex. A lot of effort and you just end up getting jacked around.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post.
ReplyDeleteI know your blog from Blog Catalog.
I have followed your blog on Google
Friend Connect(No:36).
Please follow back, thanks.
http://www.multibrand.biz
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove Song for You:
ReplyDeleteI need to find a
New Vagina
Any kinda
New vagina
It's hard to rhyme a
word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kinda,
North Carolina
Alright, I technically didn't write it: the Bloodhound Gang did.
I did write the lyrics myself on your blog so I counting that as a personal composition.
Well...I more or less copy and pasted the lyrics. Definitely, put the least amount of work into the reply as possible. I'm a two-click kind of man. Wait....that came out wrong.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! YEAH SELF DISS!
But in all seriousness I've total got an open spot in my calender that could use some extra vagina and I have a CD player with a Bloodhound CD. It's like a really good CD player though, you'll feel like the band was in a studio playing far away while you listen to them through a Dixie cup on a string.
Unoriginal= check
Band to Sing= it will most defiantly sound like a band is playing somewhere so check.
I think we are ready to rock and roll, hoochie koo.
But not for too long because my stupid Mom won't let me have overnight visitors. God, she is so pushy!
Yeah, now it posted all correct like. Damn interwebs trying to block my game. Probably the interwebs all jealous of my Wilde like word play of being Damn Sexy.
ReplyDeleteOh, my Mom wants to know if your allergic to anything. That's right I'll be providing you with a home cooked meal too.
you really have your way with the ladies don't you? teehee.... O_O
ReplyDeleteNice nice.. very well said. I have found your blog in 20sb and added you as my friend there. Thanks..
ReplyDelete