How to Bake a Cookie...O_O

Do you want to learn how to bake but you don't have a proper oven? You're in luck because I baked a cookie without one! Well it was still sort of an oven-ish... oven but still not an oven. If you want to start baking a mediocre tasting cookie that at least looks great then you're in luck because this is Baking 101.

Here are the things you need.

• sugar
• flour
• butter
• chocolate chip
• baking soda
• vanilla extract

Duration: Using an oven-ish type of oven would be around like.... 3-5 minutes? There's no indication of heat, I just guesstimated the time. Anywho... let's proceed. 

1. Bring Friends Over.

Baking alone is fun, but baking with a friend is twice the fun if there are two of you and five times the fun if there were five of you. Keep in mind that all of you shouldn't know how to bake in order to create a mediocre tasting cookie! It's more fun to bake when all of you have no idea how to bake! fun fun fun! 

2. Dump All Those Shit in a Bowl.

Put all the ingredients together in a bowl. I have no idea how much sugar or flour were in it, I saw it in a website somewhere and I totally forgot. And I'm lazy putting it up in here. So I advice you to just search in the internetz on making chocolate chip cookies and the first one that pops up is the one! Anyway mix all those stuff together in a bowl until the consistency is all gooey. 

3. Put that Gooey Stuff in the Fridge.

Actually you can use it as it is, but if you want to have a cookie dough that you can mold, put that stuff on the fridge until it's mold-able. 

4. Internetz for Entertainments.

While the cookie dough is in the fridge, search the internetz for entertainment and have your friends blast the music from youtube through your speakers. The music should consist a lot of "dugs dugs dugs dugs" "broooooaawwwrrrr" "dugs dugs dugs"... oh wait, apparently that's called dubstep. 

5. Mold that Shit!

This baking lessons contain a lot of profanity, so pardon me for that. But this aren't just plain old cookies, these are bad ass cookies!!! So mold that cookie into the shape you want, and bake it in your crappy oven-ish device for 3 minutes... and then you'll notice it's still gooey, so you bake it for another 2 minutes until it's all eatable. 

and the result is....

Tadaaaa! I'm proud of this cookie!

Unfortunately, the double D's deflated  into B cups once the oven started heating up, and the penile erection went down and turned into a vajayjay.

So there you have it! It may taste mediocre, but boy is it fun to eat a chocolate chip transvestite cookie, compared to a gingerbread man! :P